TIBERIUS CAESAR AND HIS ATTENDANT
There is a whole population of busybodies at Rome running
all over the place excitedly, occupied without any true occupation,
huffing and puffing at frivolous pursuits, and making much out
of nothing. They are an annoyance to each other and utterly despised
by everyone else. Yet I would like to try to correct this crowd,
if possible, by means of a true story: it is one worth listening
to.
Tiberius Caesar was on his way to Naples and had arrived at his estate in Misenum
which had been built by Lucullus on a high hill overlooking the Sicilian sea
on one side and the Tuscan sea on the other. When Caesar was walking about in
the cheerful greenery, one of his household stewards turned up, dressed in a
fancy fringed tunic of Egyptian cotton hanging down from his shoulders. The man
began to sprinkle the sizzling hot ground with water from a wooden basin, making
a great show of his diligence as Caesar's attendant, but everyone just laughed
at him. The man then ran ahead to the next walkway, using some shortcuts known
only to himself, and he started settling the dust in that spot as well. When
Caesar recognized the man and realized what he was doing, he said, 'Hey you!'
The man scampered up to Caesar, excited at the joyful prospect of what seemed
a sure reward. Then Caesar's majestic person made the following joke: 'You have
not accomplished much and your efforts have come to naught; if you want me to
give you the slap that makes you a freedman, it will cost you much more than
that!' |